Sorry, Z, you got me thinking. Feel free to ignore the existence of this post. That goes for everyone, actually; it's really stream-of-consciousness and may not be exceptionally readable like the rest of my posts ;P.
I recently tweeted that bad days and weeks just happen but good weeks take a crapload of work to make happen. I don't mean weeks when it's your birthday and you win the lottery. I mean, the kinds of weeks when you finish enough of what's on your plate that you can feel satisfied in yourself. I'd say "you get everything done," but when does that ever happen? Never happens to me. Let's face it, our days of absolute freedom ended when we started school (or for some of us, even earlier). So, I don't necessarily classify a good week as one that is relaxing, or where I'm free to do whatever I want. I classify it as a week I am satisfied with because I accomplished what I set out to do...and if it's a vacation week, that something will most likely be relaxation, but otherwise, it probably won't.
A bad week is when I don't accomplish things. It may be because I was sick, or emotionally distraught, or like last week, when things just fall from my hands and turn sideways and go crooked and...you know the type. When you can't seem to do anything right. For some reason, those times cluster together. Generally, if there was no apparent reason for my bad week, I'll get fed up during it and make the next week a good one through sheer willpower. If there was, I still endeavor to make the next week good, because the bad week is over and I can (and should) move on.
So, now that a good and a bad week has been defined, what makes a good month? I find, my months are typically mediocre. Which I, out of optimism, classify as pretty good. There's usually a cycle with one extra good week, one bad week, and two so-so weeks. However, if something AWESOME happened (like a birthday, a holiday, a breakthrough in research, getting awesome semester grades, winning the lottery, etc), then it's a great month! If something awful happened (got disappointing/dangerous (for plans) grades, got hurt, got life-changing medical diagnosis, or worse...) then it was a bad month. It's kind of a rarity that awesome and awful things happen in the same month. If they do, it is classified as 'emotional turmoil'. Also, April has it in for me, particularly in the romance department.
Now, what about years. I think years are too long to slap a label on honestly. Like, last year, I have no idea how to classify. Some awesome things happened: I graduated college summa cum laude, I had a fantastic summer job, I became financially independent, got a credit card, became confident in my driving skills, met my roommates (:)). On the other thing, awful things happened. I suffered two losses in my family...one grandparent I was close to and one grandparent I wish I was closer to. Not only that, but I couldn't even be there for the rest of my family during this time except with the occasional phone call (well, if I had felt it would have helped, I could have...but there was next to nothing I could do). There's really not much to follow that, but they were dark days when I was heavy-hearted...and I feel the repercussions every couple of days. The final group is events that were ambiguous...bad but good too, or good then bad then good, or good then bad but better and soon will be good....
Now I clarify. In March I got diagnosed with PCOS: polycystic ovarian syndrome. It meant my metabolism and my hormones were screwy (liking the technical talk here?). On the one hand, it is a lifelong diagnosis that could affect my chances of having children. On the other, it was a serious warning that I need to seriously change my habits. Changing even a few of those took me a year. But it made me realize that this sort of change comes slowly; a very important lesson that keeps my motivation from getting sapped when I think about health and fitness now. Also, made me realize that it's not an all or nothing game, that being "half-healthy" is better than not at all. I'm also paying lots more attention to my body now, which is very good.
Another case of the ambivalent event was starting graduate school. Being accepted and offered a fantastic fellowship at U of I was awesome and a time of great pride for me, but once I actually got here, all the changes in my life seriously tripped me up. I honestly didn't feel like myself until November, when I got my hair cut and felt like I woke up from a long dream. Then I had my first good week all school year. :) After that, it still fluctuated a lot, but I had regained my faith that I can handle things and that good times are ahead. And of course, grad school will probably benefit my career significantly in the end, so let's call it a good thing in the long run. :)
Last example of ambivalent events is finding out that my family is moving to California. I'm happy because it simplifies my holiday plans significantly. However, I had been looking forward to having them nearby for at least a few more years. It's not fear or uncertainty at this point...just that I enjoy their company immensely; just because I love my family and love having them nearby does not mean I am in some way dependent on them. However, they haven't moved away yet, so I'm not sure I can really count this; although finding out had a major emotional impact.
All these ambivalent events I classify as "difficult." Things that were (or still are) hard to deal with, but that became valuable experiences in retrospect (or I am certain will become such). Or in the case of my diagnosis, it was a relief to know what was going on. I consider sleep deprivation-type busyness to be "difficult." I hate it, but it's educational and also means I'm busy enough that I have no time to sit around wondering if I'm being lazy or if I should be doing something I don't know about. (This happened at the beginning of the school year, sort of.)
So, my prognosis for the future? I think most years since middle school have been, are, and will continue to be overall 'difficult.' There is always stress galore, always bad things that drop down on us like lightning bolts and good things that are mostly earned through the aforementioned stress and accompanying work. Sometimes, fantastic things you never expected will suddenly happen--like meeting a fantastic person you fall in love with (and vice versa! important!), or being in the right place at the right time to take advantage of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
A year from Saturday, if I finish my 1000 mile challenge, I will be ecstatic, but this will be the result of work put in over the course of the year. Hopefully, I will be pleased with the results of the challenge (better physical fitness), long before that date...It will be a difficult year, but that does not mean it will be a bad one.
