Leave the office at the office, turn off the smartphone, check your email once or twice a day instead of constantly, leave your weekends to yourself (and not your boss). They typical advice for finding a little calm and peace in a hectic working world.
But what about grad school?
My dad is in academia...a strange, national lab brand of academia, but academia nonetheless. He is a bona fide expert in his narrow field, does things no one else can, publishes papers (or at least he once did), and on the rare occasion gets "we'll do anything!" job offers. I respect all this immensely.
At the same time, I'm in a place where I can see his lifestyle...he's a total night owl and refuses the 9-5 paradigm, even in the semi-"real" job he has held for about a year (you know, the kind with bosses and meetings and offices and all that jazz.) He likes to work at home when he can, but he also rarely truly leaves work for that reason...i.e. he brings home coding, reading, email-sending, and god knows what to do after dinner and even on weekends. There's no home/work separation and at times I can see that wears on him. He's passionate about his work; one of the reasons that leaving it at the office isn't an option, and as an academic, his approach is "do everything I can and succeed," rather than "do what I get paid for." This is good or bad...on the one hand, people with that mindset accomplish more. On the other, I think it sets the stage to be under-appreciated.
Why do I bring all this up? Well, essentially, his approach has greatly influenced many of my own feelings about work and school, which I've been fighting to reconcile.
Strangely enough, or maybe not at all, I didn't think about "in college, my parents..." when I was in college. Same in high school. And even if I did, it didn't influence my perception of what I should be doing, because their school experiences had been in a different place as well as a different time. They never took SAT's or AP classes, never wrote college application questions or worried if they'd be able to pay for it. They took insanely difficult entrance exams, passed, and had housing and a stipend provided for them. Not piles of riches, but no undergrad school loan debt, either. They had classes and labs 9-5 that they sometimes didn't go to with homework and studying afterwards, had 6 years of university instead of 4, and essentially got something akin to a master's degree in the bargain. On some things I can relate to them; on others, not so much. The main thing I took away from their experiences: study hard, because you're not studying as hard as we did but don't let that be your whole life: have good fun with good friends while you're young enough to have it.
Grad school is different. I remember my dad starting grad school. And finishing, too. We never talked about dad "going to school." He was always "going to work." There are marked differences: he'd had more years of education at a tougher institution, then a few years of work, at least one of which was as an assistant professor at the same institution he was starting to attend (don't ask). Apparently he had some courses transferred and was able to complete the rest of his coursework in a year. He came to do research, on a specific topic with a specific person, not to study. He was working on physics, not engineering. He had a family. Those are just a few.
I don't feel like much has changed with my life since undergrad. I'm still in school, albeit with a few more perks. Less classes, an office, no tuition, a stipend, etc. On the other hand, harder classes, and an expectation of doing research.
It should feel and be treated more like work. And I'm not treating it that way. Research still seems secondary on my plate of things to do. It's not much different from other students I've met that are in the same place, i.e. coming out of undergrad. Some are more focused on research and more independently motivated to work on it...some are still in the beginning stages like I am.
So basically, I'm looking for the right approach...the proper balance between sleeping in and enjoying the perks of being an adult...and becoming self-motivated and getting work done.
I work in lab with guys who are morning people (I think) and are down there like, 8-6 or so. I think (a) the lab is crowded so I stay up in the office and (b) I can get reading of papers done just as well sitting at home on my couch (or bed, which is more comfy). The thing is, when my dad did this, he got things done. I don't.
I guess I'm to continue looking for that balance of spending time at school and working at home. Find the tasks that work best in each environment. Spend more time at school once I start having hands-on labwork. In the meantime, the to-do list awaits: 2 homework assignments due next week, a fellowship application due Tuesday, and a project in my hardest class. A student's work is never done!
