63.7 miles: Today was good...

1) I got to begin building things in the lab! [Assemble a unistrut structure.]

2) We (the guys and I) moved around furniture in/around one of the new offices.

3) Long teatime & talk with my roommate. :)

39.7 miles: How I lost my faith in humanity...and gained it back again.

So, I was sitting at Corner Bakery in Union Station today on my layover between Megabus and Metra, and I witnessed an appalling scene. Well, actually, I'm judging based on only partial information here, but I think my assessment was fairly accurate in this case. When the commotion ensued, I looked over and a middle-aged guy with a backpacking-backpack and 2 other bags was trying to sit down at a table (I'd say next to mine, but that would be redundant as the seating area is tiny). The problem? He had put down one of his bags in an empty chair at another table. The table (for 4) was occupied by a Cubs fan and his two lady friends. I didn't hear the first comment (by Cubs fan, henceforth A-hole), but I suspect it was rude. The middle aged guy (henceforth: Backpacker), responded akin to "I'm sorry, I just need to sit down to use the internet.") I again missed A-hole's next comment, but Backpacker removed his bag from the seat, asking "You would call the police if I leave my bag there?" incredulously. To which A-hole responded "Not only would I call the police, I would f**k you up!" (Censorship added). What followed was a back-and-forth with Backpacker feeling he was "threatened" and that "we don't treat people like that here," and "this is a public place!" and A-hole using words like "pussy" to describe Backpacker. The only reasonable sentiment came from one of the ladies, who at one point wisely suggested that "Ohmigod, everyone at this table needs to, like, shut up!"

Now, you have probably guessed that my sympathies lay with Backpacker; however, I actually feel that the situation was escalated and perpetuated by both parties. Sure, Backpacker probably set his stuff down without asking...but it was an empty chair and he was obviously overburdened (it was obvious if you saw him) and tired. Any (in my opinion) reasonable, decent human being, even if he/she was bothered by this, would have asked politely "Excuse me, would you mind moving your bag?" possibly after Backpacker sat down. Or "Excuse me, are you planning to move that in a second?" before he did. I'm guessing that A-hole's response was more akin to "What the hell, dude? Get your sh** out of here!" Backpacker, on the other hand, could have moved his stuff and kept his mouth shut instead of starting a moralistic lecture(it's like getting into internet arguments...see xkcd). No one wants to be told they're being rude by a stranger on the street (or in a train station).

So, that was the losing faith part. Made slightly worse by the fact that I felt terrible for Backpacker, but didn't want to get involved (perhaps wanted to see if they would figure it out on their own, which they did). I did give him a small smile as I left. And he thanked me for throwing my trash away o.O I only actually realized what it was he was thanking me for after I had practically left, so I couldn't even brush it off properly. So, the experience seemed somewhat incomplete on my end, having not given him reassurance of my siding with him there.

Fortunately, on the next leg of my journey I was in a Metra car with a couple with a baby (maybe 8 mos old?). They were all, collectively, adorable (and the baby independently adorable as well, of course). Furthermore, when the conductor came by, she got distracted by their baby and accidentally punched the 10-ride pass twice instead of once like they wanted/needed. They pointed this out, and she was immediately super-apologetic, started thinking of ways to fix it, and ended up writing a note on the ticket as well as giving them her phone number in case they had trouble with it, even though (according to her) they shouldn't. Furthermore, as she was doing this, the couple got slightly flustered and started saying that it was fine, no big deal, etc. Which is the part that restored my faith in people :D Because sometimes not making a fuss over a few dollars is just easier on everyone. Still, the conductor had already figured it out so she wrote them a note, reasoning that "a ride is a ride." Points for righteous business practices/customer service people. :D Further restoring my faith in humanity.

Incidentally, I currently have a pretty terrible opinion of Cubs fans.

34.9 miles: Objective Proof That All People Suck

Read a really emotional series of comments today in response to a woman's post talking about how her coworkers and friends seemed to be looking down on her choice to have a baby. It spawned a lot of animosity from 3 different sides:

• People agreeing that their friends and/or usually their coworkers were very unsupportive (if not downright critical) of their choice to have children; and/or to have more than (2-3) children. Lots of anger at everyone who has such an attitude.
• People who were or believed they were choosing to remain childless their whole lives. These were generally of the opinion that people with families were obsessed with their children and had to talk about them all the time. Which clearly was not the case or the problem. They were also very much of the opinion of "You get 6 weeks off because you chose to do this, and you expect the rest of us to pick up the slack for the same salary?!"
• Stay-home-moms who feel looked down on by everyone (child-having and child-less) for "being lazy" or "not living up to [their] potential." Furthermore, they criticize working moms for not being able to parent their children as well because children are in daycare from an early age.

I hate that there is such animosity here on all fronts! Here is why:

• I don't think it needs to be said that working and parenting are incredibly difficult things to do simultaneously. Yet, if you want to develop a career and have children, you really have a limited time frame in which to do these things. So you multitask. Their parenting may partially be reflected in their choice of daycare or nanny rather than lots of time spent with their kids; but they are still strongly influencing the kids' upbringing. Furthermore, parenting is as much about quality as quantity. A good parent will be a good parent whether they work or not. I believe that. Furthermore, a parent can be a good worker; especially if they have a good support system. But we also shouldn't be making anyone work 60 hour weeks to advance their career. Even childless people need that time off, to spend with friends, spouses, SO's, alone, etc.
• I can respect the choice to not have children due to any reason, as long as it's genuine: medical/genetic, financial, or even (especially) a matter of preference. People who don't like or want children don't need to have them. However, I think it is completely rude for those same people to not respect our need as a society to have people who do reproduce (by the whole "how dare your choices impinge on my life!"). Or respect the right for those people to still want a career. Perhaps, while they are parenting, they will work less hours, take weird times or days off, and have emergencies. Or perhaps they'll have the most predictable children ever. Fact of the matter is, there are other causes for these behaviors besides children...chronic illness (or ill health), or accident; emergencies with friends, spouses, parents; home repairs...some things will be choices, many will not. Everyone takes days off; admittedly not everyone gets maternity leave, but that's a pretty special case of "illness"...or more generally "health." Ultimately, it's been shown that women who have children slow their progress up the corporate ladder; so perhaps not taking that break will earn the childless a quicker promotion, an overall higher salary. They'll need it to pay for their nursing home, where they'll die alone.
• I also respect stay at home moms. I've seen first hand how awesome it is to have a parent home when you get back from school, who cooks, who's there to help you with homework and play games and take you to the park and teach you things. Perhaps in our family there wasn't much choice in the matter; perhaps in another situation, I would have been a latchkey kid, but that's not what happened. My mom is highly educated, but by no means lazy. I don't think her education was wasted, by any means, as it gave her a great perspective to raise the 3 of us in. She also continued to pursue education and work throughout my childhood whenever it was possible; giving me (and my sisters) a fantastic example to live up to. So, if a family is able, through means or through sacrifice, to have a parent (male or female) stay home with their kids, I totally respect that! Kids get a lot out of this arrangement! It doesn't mean the at-home parent is any less intelligent or driven. They are just using their skills differently for the time being, and power to them!

So I guess my conclusion is that I am impressed with all three groups: one for multitasking, one for ambition and achievement, one for great love and parenting. I am also angry with the attitudes shown by all three: the working mothers could admit they are able to do less work and parenting as a result, but that that is okay by them; the childless ones could admit that children are a necessity and stop putting down everyone who has them, since these are the ones who will be taking care of them in their old age; and the stay at home parents could...I dunno, lose their inferiority complex and stand up proudly as full-time parents, I guess. That's my take.

For those who are like WTF Galina right now, I am concerned about these things because one day not too far away I will have to be making these decisions about my career and my family; I just hope I am strong enough to make them.

Myriad of thoughts

Hating the word 'healthy' as applied to food. 'Healthy' can be a person who is not sick or weak/sickly. I suppose 'healthy' can be a habit that is known to promote health: brushing your teeth, doing yoga, jogging, sleeping enough, spending time with friends and/or family, etc. I suppose a diet can be 'healthy;' one that supplies necessary energy and nutrients to allow the body to function at a high level. But a food...there is no superfood you could live off of forever by itself. You need meats for protein and iron and omega 3 and maybe even some fat to satiate you. You need plants--fruits and vegetables and mushrooms for fiber and vitamins and minerals. The list goes on. Everything we can eat, we probably need a little of...'Healthy' is about balance; and one food can't have balance by itself.

Had a really hard week, but really satisfied with the results. I got some data (I want to say a lot, but it's not quite true...still, more than before), I tried an independent idea, I went to two workshops (Time Management and Python Resources for Science and Engineering), I jogged twice, I had an hour-long and very productive conversation with my advisor regarding research, funding, and summer vacation (possibly a trip to Russia?). Spent 14 hour days on campus. Cooked for myself, maybe twice. Anyway. Made me think that the best, most satisfying weeks, are the ones where you do a lot of work and can be proud of yourself :).

When I was at home last weekend, my mom leaned back and hit her head on the doorjamb on accident. While she was wincing and rubbing it, I asked if I should "kiss it and make it better." She goes "sure." Then when I did it, she tells me in a shocked voice: "wow, that actually worked!" Apparently she had always thought it was a way to calm kids down when they weren't actually hurt, just asking for attention. Live and learn, I guess? Go placebos!

Anyway...I'm cold, I have hw, taxes, and an episode of FNL to finish :). Also, Avenue Q on Friday! *excitement*

It's Tea!

Today, I have for you a story.

One fine day, I was sitting in my office. Except it wasn't terribly fine because it was the Friday before spring break and I was working on engineering drawings that weren't being terribly fun. And waiting for a friend (V) who was about to get there. But it was ok.

Suddenly! A head appeared over the cubicle-divider walls in front of me.

"Hi!" The head said. "Do you mind if I go through your office to get to mine?"

"No, go right ahead," I replied, suppressing giggles the whole while. It wasn't easy. Because he proceeded to climb over two cubicle walls; not that I could see it. (My office has two halves; he went through the other half, behind a wall from me.) You see, the grad student 'offices' are really one giant room divided into cubicles of various sizes. Sometimes with their own door and sometimes without. Anyway, after he was gone I signed on to Facebook and immediately informed the world that someone had finally jumped/climbed the cubicle walls. I had been waiting for it to happen for months.

I thought the story was over.

Monday (after an awesome weekend :) ) I arrived at work and went to check my mail; I was waiting on a fax, which did not arrive. However, my mailbox had a small box with a card attached. I read it. It said:

Dear Galina,

Thank you for letting me go through your cubicle. I have seen you making tea several times so I hope you will enjoy this tea. I am also of course willing to return the service you have rendered me, should you ever be locked out of your office.

Signed,

The tea was Ahmad. I was impressed, to say the least. Also, anyone with a taste in tea is OBVIOUSLY a good person. I was going to write him a card, but frankly, I'm just not awesome enough for that. So I said thanks for the card next time I saw him in the hallway. :) Next time after that I asked when he was stopping by for tea. He said sometime. The next time I made fun of him for being at school on a Sunday night (note: I was necessarily also there, also on Sunday night :\ ) Apparently we were both on the way out, because he offered me a ride 5 minutes later when I was at the bus stop. I refused because my bus was pulling up and it wasn't that close to him anyway...but it was nice :)

So, that's the story. I made a new friend :)

Real men (and women!)

I have been judging some of my friends on some of their qualities lately. It was bothering me. Why did it bother me that said (male) friend was uncomfortable with dirt? Or spiders? Or smells? Then it occurred to me, these qualities bother me in women just as much as men. The only difference is that society gives women a 'pass' when it comes to 'macho' qualities; just like men get a 'pass' when it comes to 'prissy' qualities. So, while I realize that this is one of those types of posts that shows up all the time, I feel I have a unique take on it, so here goes: What Real Men (and Women) Do!

By the by, this list is idealistic. No one can possibly have all of these qualities 100%. There are legitimate illnesses, phobias, etc. I'm talking about qualities that society has generally found admirable in men (or women) that women (or men) should also have.

Real men (and women!)

1) Control their emotions, within reason.

Men have traditionally been expected to be stoic. But the thing is, we as a society are so over women swooning and crying and fainting over everything. We're also (or at least we should be) over bitchy women going off the handle; same for men. You're an adult for goodness' sakes! Just be civil!

2) Do not fear.

Men do the dirty work around the house, crush bees and spiders in their bare hands, go camping for fun, and come home smelling like a week of sweat and dirt. Well, honestly? There's no reason women can't...and should, do the same things! Granted, I feel crushing insects is unsanitary and (in the case of bees) unsafe, so grab a tissue. But don't have 'the man in your life' do it for you, ladies! More fundamentally, as my mother taught me, there is nothing wrong with getting dirty as long as you get clean again when socially appropriate. Shower for an hour after a week camping, wash your hands after digging in the garden or fixing your bike (or car).

3) Take charge of their life.

Colleges no longer offer an MRS. degree. Even if you end up as a stay-at-home-mom, you should have a career. You should have interests. You should get an education (to whatever level is appropriate). Nothing is wrong with staying home with your kids for their formative years ; but even as a stay-at-home-mom, one should be striving to keep up with the state of their particular art. Every woman should be able to provide for herself if things with her man go south, or in any other contingency. Shit happens in life. No one should be powerless.

Real women (and men!)

4) Take care of themselves.

Shower. Brush teeth. Eat good, proper meals. Do all those things your mom reminded you to do until you moved out. There are men and women both that miss the mark on this one, but stereotypically it's men.

5) Develop and exercise taste.

XL stained white t-shirts when you're a size medium? Tasteless. As are grubby saggy jeans, torn up dirty sneakers, etc. Dirty anything, really. I'm not above a sweatshirt day once in a while (or even often), but when you're trying to impress someone, grubby doesn't cut it. Girls are known for 'cute outfits,' but guys have just as much responsibility for their appearance, demeanor, and vocabulary as girls do. They just get away with infractions much easier.

6) Cook and 'keep house.'

First of all, cooking is a life skill. It's like dressing yourself in the morning. Second, nothing is hotter than a guy with laundry detergent. Or a broom. This connects with the need for men and women to be in control of their lives; essentially, it comes down to being an independent, self-sufficient individual. Society doesn't need people that need to be taken care of.

So, that's my incomplete list of qualities we all need to have. :)

A culture of the free

I love free stuff. I got a free chai latte from Panera the other day. I think it may have been more delicious than the usual chai latte. :) You can also get free stuff off craigslist..sometimes it needs some work, but you can get lucky. And it's awesome that people post their stuff and go through the trouble of contacting receivers and setting up meetings instead of just throwing things out. This is great.

Along with free physical stuff, I love free software. LaTeX is awesome for writing reports, and there's multiple free environments out there for it. I recently downloaded TeXnic Center, which is great for learning (it has buttons for common commands so you don't need to look them up). Pidgin for chat. OpenOffice (though at the moment I have no need for it). Wesnoth.

I like that these things are possible because there are people willing to give up their time to create them and share them with others. Maybe they just wanted them for themselves...but once they had it, they recognized that it would take them minimal effort to share it. And then others helped them build their 'product' (I hate to call it that since it's not sold) up.

I love the culture of 'free' things for students; I love Autodesk for making virtually all their software available to students. The concept of site licenses is great, too, but ultimately comes out of your pocket in tuition and other charges. I mean free, direct, from the company.

They have a point. You have no (or little) money as a student; you're not going to purchase a $300 software package, much less a $1000 one, even if you want the software. But, give it to you for free, you get 'hooked'. No, that's a bad choice of words. Accustomed is better. You become accustomed. Once you do have money, you don't look for a better option; you stick with the one you know how to use. Awesome long-term business sense.

So, producers of free software: I salute you! Purveyors of free goods: I salute you as well!

Obnoxious people

I'm usually pretty easygoing...I like it when people on buses or trains with me have lively conversations with each other, when kids are, well, kids, when instead of awkward silence there's a sort of life in there.

But for the love of God, shouldn't people have manners?!

This girl, who was wearing grey leggings with purple flowers on them and a short jacket, by the way, started off by making ridiculous and ridiculously loud sneezing noises. Well, weird noises happen to the best of us. Except that from that point forward, for the next hour, she and her boyfriend got progressively louder and louder and more obnoxious. They squealed, they screamed, they snorted, they drummed on the tray tables. And then they started cussing loud enough for the whole car to hear. What the HELL?

I was this close to telling them to shut their rude asses the fuck up; not sure why I didn't (even in a non-confrontational way, since confrontation is what they would expect...)

So, that's the experience for the day.

Resolution news: not getting any better :\