77.8 miles: Thoughts on the future of education.

I'm taking an online class this semester for the first time.  I've had classes at IIT that had an online section, which was very convenient; I could catch up on lectures if I had to miss a class, instead of puzzling through someone's notes.  But to have the entire experience online is rather different.

On a related note, I happened across an article today on how 'online education' is being implemented in schools. It's not completely online, but it's definitely taking advantage of it. It's called the 'flipped' school day. The idea is simple: did you ever get 'stuck' watching a lecture at school as opposed to stuck on a homework problem? Did you ever wish you could 'rewind' the teacher and  hear that concept again before moving on, or pause it to jot down a long formula without missing the next bit? Basically did you ever wish the lecture was being done on your time? On the other hand, isn't it helpful to have someone knowledgeable around when you're actually solving problems or completing an assignment? So, the simple concept is, flip the two! Stop sending problems and assignments home; instead, send the lectures, in video form.

I see another upshot: you're saving the passive learning (lectures) for the less energetic part of the day, and active, experiential learning for the middle of the day. You're working with most people's natural energy peak. You're also saving your teachers' time...a lecture only needs to be recorded once (during prep time) for several sections of the same class. Perhaps even across years! And like the article says, you can even exchange lectures with other schools.

I am wondering a few things, however.  Are the improvements cited by the school really due to moving those lectures, or can they be abolished altogether? I'm thinking of this other article that I read recently. In a nutshell, some physics profs structure classes based on small group problem solving and discussion, rather then lectures; and they see better results. Granted, I think they assigned reading and expected it to be done, too.

I'm going to admit, I never read for my classes; if I do, I'm just getting the same information a second time in lecture, and I'm bored. I'd rather go back to the book and read if I don't understand something from lecture. However, this hinges on the fact that I don't need to read to go to class. If I did, I probably would.

So, back to my online class...it's really a middle ground. Usually, I 'attend class' when it's going on, which lets me ask questions and participate if I want. On the other hand, I always have the option of watching or re-watching later (including late at night when I wouldn't do other work). The software used also has lots of cool features (which of course we aren't using). Everyone 'attending' can call in and talk, or even call in with video. We can point to the 'board' and write on it. We have a chat function. Frankly, taping a classroom is not the best use of it!  I'm not sure what is.

Here's what I am sure of: we're way past lectures. Information is so easy to come by these days: you have Khan Academy, you have Wikipedia, you have Google. You have Instructables. You can learn whatever you want without ever leaving your screen...so what do we do with classtime? I refuse to succumb to the view that organized education is outdated; but in order to have value over a self-education, it must switch from imparting information to a different model. One centered around verifying the student received the information correctly (correcting misunderstandings and confusion), and teaching them to apply that information. Perhaps even to seek out more of it.

Since I plan to become an educator, this is a thought in progress. For today, I just wanted to point out a cool trend I was seeing.

Early Weekend?

I had no time-related obligations this morning and had been on campus for 11 days straight (for various time frames), so around 9AM today I decided "not gonna push it." I might go in Sunday afternoon after I get back from a therapeutic weekend with Mom. I'm going in this afternoon as well, but only for ~2 hours before I catch my bus to go to see the family.

In between breakfast and packing and watching an episode of Castle, I googled "grad school depression." I'm not suicidal or anything, but my can't-seem-to-get-out-of-bed-and-start-the-day feelings sometimes make me wonder if I'm headed in a bad direction....Which may in fact be true, as I found the following from a blog in 2009:

...my class schedule seemed so light compared to the 12-hour days of class I used to put in during my undergrad, but something about the environment and the workload and the expectations and the looming deadlines combine to make me feel sometimes like I'm not cut out to be an adult. Or to do anything, really. Sunday nights, I get so anxious about starting the new week and all of the constant worry about my impossible to-do list that I just want to hide in my bedroom and not come out.

Strangely (or perhaps not), it is very soothing to know other people suffer the exact same problem! I'd highlight the parts of this that are particularly relevant, but it's hard to choose. The class schedule did seem light...though last semester it miraculously took up a majority of my days. Not sure how that happened. Not feeling like an adult. Feeling incompetent. Both true. Looking at 2nd and 3rd year grad students it seems like they've got it down...even my fellow first-year seems to have a much better grasp on it...I'm starting to think it's a learned skill, though, because (in spite of today) I am getting better about scheduling/time management/getting shit done. Finally, Sunday nights! I hate Sundays after 5PM with a burning passion! It's the end of a glorious period known as 'the weekend' and the next day you're expected to wake up early and go to campus and do groundbreaking research and homework and it all sort of gets to you.

Most of the suggestions I saw (all over the internet) were very apt: take care of yourself (eat, sleep, exercise); spend time with people/develop relationships; find your passion and your love (you might be in the wrong place). Basically what I'm doing. So. I've really enjoyed my 4-hour vacation; now to pack up my stuff, go to campus, do some work and print some papers to read on the bus...

5 Steps Out of a Quarter Life Crisis

A Xanga post made me think on this...I think I've mentioned before that I've been in a omg-what-am-I-doing-am-I-even-good-enough-for-this-ahhh! state on and off since the beginning of the school year. And I'm not certain I can actually answer all the questions it entails. However, I have been taking steps that have made me feel much better about my situation. And here (some of them) are:

1) Talk about it. I've vented to at least 5 friends, and my mom. Each of them heard virtually the same story every couple of weeks...I kind of felt bad about it. Also certain thoughts/feelings took a while to breach because with friends and family you worry about how they see you. I've thought about going to the counseling center several times due mostly to these things: I didn't want to burden my friends and family with my emotions and I didn't want to seem weak. However, it seems that it has taken a turn for the better before I psyched myself up to do that, so I think I'll continue with friend-therapy. Perhaps make them cookies to make up for it. :)

2) Sleep. Eat. On a regular human schedule. These things have amazing effects on mood, productivity, outlook, energy levels, you name it. As a corollary, watch the vitamins (nutrient deficiencies can make you tired, who would have guessed?)

3) Do work. Sometimes you get into this mindset that you have all this shit to do, and you're not doing it, and you're a terrible person, and it just escalates into omg-why-am-I-even-alive?-ness. You know what? This is your run-of-the-mill temper-tantrum, adult-style. Kick yourself in the butt and do SOMETHING. ANYTHING that you would consider productive. Take an hour, but FINISH that homework problem without opening Facebook. You can cry. It's okay. You know what happens at the end though? You get this sense of accomplishment. Of conquering yourself (as well as the task at hand). And that builds on itself.

4) Develop or maintain your social structure. Make new friends--study groups, people you meet in the hallway, all of these are valid. There's a great feeling--something to do with being liked and being needed, perhaps--that comes from a new friendship :) Study groups also help get work done and give you perspective on where you stand.

5) Forgive yourself. This one was particularly hard for me...letting go of all those lazy evenings in front of the TV with a frozen pizza in hand. Sometimes, it's my willpower that needs a break, and that's what happens when it takes one. Breathe. Relax. Sleep in. Start the fight anew. :)

As Windows installs...

Had a strange episode last night...went to bed at 9PM due to headache, then woke up at 2AM. Brushed teeth, got a drink, went back to bed. Tried to get comfortable. Felt weird pains in various parts of my body. Got nervous. Couldn't fall asleep. Tossed and turned. :\ Finally, read a chapter in a book and calmed down. 4AM finally got back to sleep, but plans of waking up at 7 were foiled. Still nervous about how I felt during the night, I let myself sleep in until 10:30. Actually woke up around 10:15. Got to campus around 12:30. Spent virtually all day setting up my new computer :), while having an 'I overslept today' headache. Bah.

Maybe I needed that, though. Something crazy to break up the monotony of every day. That said it didn't make me feel terribly good.

I've started looking into personal training and metabolic rate analysis. It's probably worth it to remove the guesswork from my eating and workouts and really give me something to work toward. Also, a guiding hand would not be amiss. It's pricey...looks like with my current plan I can look forward to spending about $200 over the semester; $100 on the analysis and $100 on the training--around 5 meetings with a trainer. That's on top of the $50 unlimited class pass that I have already bought. Kind of a pricey endeavor, but if it helps, it's worth it. My health is worth it, after all.

Finished my first HW early, woot! And started the 2nd assignment the day it was assigned! Granted, I got stuck on the 2nd problem. I think tonight I'll skip it and go on to the later ones. Managing 2 classes is much easier than managing 5. or 4. or 3. Now, thesis research...*sigh*

I need to start reading more papers. I'm thinking about taking off early (say, on Mondays and Fridays?) and doing this in a pleasant atmosphere...MEL, coffee shop, library, my bed...etc. Perhaps this will be a motivator.

Overall, I would say things aren't going badly :)

Building a Reputation

One of the things that genuinely sucks about starting in a new place: all the work you did to build up your persona in the old place is gone. Can't depend on it anymore. I have to prove once again that I am smart, persistent, analytical. And I have to get over my fear of speaking up. It's easy to speak up when you have aces in your corner. It didn't take me long at camp--I had graduated summa cum laude from college, en route to grad school in Aerospace. I was humble--I hadn't done their job before, after all--but as far as overcoming myself, I had a lot to draw on, by comparison to 18-19 year old (sorry) kids.

At IIT it took me about 2 years to gauge my classmates to the point where I could say "If I don't get this, no one does" and ask my question. Whereas starting grad school, it was more like "I don't get this, am I a dumbass?" and then not want to ask anything, hoping that when I get home and look at my textbook it'll all make sense. You know how the saying goes "Better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt."

It will happen in time, but that time passes with some degree of suffering.

Why?

Over the past 5 weeks, I have come to some realizations:

i) I don't know how to read papers [effectively].

ii) I'm 'behind' according to my usual standards due (I think) to changing schools. [On a side note, I hate obnoxious overachievers who do routine AE 412 HW in LaTeX and get 100% on it! Taking pride in your work is one thing, but....really?]

iii) I don't know how to ask good questions. This isn't news, but it's more of a problem now than ever. Half of research is figuring out your topic; that comes from asking questions that are important to you.

iv) I still have very few, if any good friends besides the ones that came with me.

v) I seem to have more 'bad' days than good.

vi) I still fall back on frozen pizza, Jimmy John's sandwiches (on white bread), and sushi (with white rice.)

vii) I eat out a lot.

On more positive notes:

i) New school supplies make me excited about school!

ii) I am for the most part, financially independent for the first time in my life.

iii) While I am having to work at my schoolwork, I am far from failing.

iv) While I can't ask questions, I'm here (in grad school) because I enjoy searching for answers.

v) While I have no close friends yet, I have generally gotten friendly responses from people I've talked to.

vi) I have eliminated white flour and rice from my kitchen.

vii) Although I have the income to eat out, I make about half my meals at home.

viii) I've been home to see family and been to Chicago to see friends.

ix) I have kept up a 3x a week or more workout schedule for a month (until last week when I felt crappy) and will take that up again this week.

x) I've been waking up before noon all days of the week (I think)!

Unexpectedly good day :)

Today, I had a moment of fierce pride. My computer was used for two PowerPoint presentations in my design class--we were going over mission specifications, if anyone is interested, more on that later--and two people, after seeing my background, asked me what it was. It was the image you see, which, to the best of my knowledge, is property of the Ad Astra Rocket company, http://www.adastrarocket.com . I encourage you to go look at the rest of the site because the company is A-MAZING. But in a nutshell, it's a concept spacecraft using the company's VASIMR engine that can (theoretically) get a manned mission to Mars in about 39 days (using chemical rockets: 6 months). Anyhow, since this is what I want to work on getting done in my lifetime, and I really like having it as my desktop, I was very pleased to have someone take an interest :) Actually, two someones, both of them classmates I intensely respect.

On design presentations: My group decided to take Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang, the Jetsons, and the DeLorean of Back to the Future as our inspiration and work on a flying car design. We're never actually going to MAKE this vehicle, but we're looking at having something that can drive 100 miles and fly 500 on a full tank of gas. You can't quite take off from your garage, but you can drive to a local airfield, take off, fly to the next one over, and then drive to grandma's house. Or your business meeting. You do need a pilot's license to operate it, though.

A little update on me (I put this at the end for a reason, hehe): The end of last semester was a somewhat stressful and hectic time--I ended up with 3 projects toward the end of the semester, plus two classes (and a few CAD homework assignments) thrown into the mix. A couple other things happened, the result of which was I made a difficult decision and chose to leave research for two jobs: TA for the CS department and tutor at the Academic Resource Center (the latter I had held before, and remembered it being fun and, dare I say, relaxing :))

Now, after a mostly relaxing break and a lot of graduate school applications (sorry, you missed them all: Princeton, University of Washington, University of Illinois-Urbana Champaign, CalTech, Georgia Tech), after all that, I started my 3 design classes+IPRO semester. It's been okay so far, the hardest day (night) being last night when I had to come up with 20 product ideas! And I didn't quite procrastinate, because we only really heard about the assignment on Monday (he had mentioned it before, but not in detail).

Still, I came up with some cool ideas, went to class, and am basically having a blast with all these cool projects. I'm also looking forward to Interview Weekend in a little over a week, having a high school student stay in my room one last time before I graduate!

Cheers. Early bedtime for me!

Mentors

So, we went to SWE conference, and I have not gotten around to posting about that yet. I will do so...sometime. I really want to do justice to it, and with mid-semesterwork piling up (especially after being gone half a week :X), I don't think I can do it justice right now.

I have, however, a nasty habit of doing more thinking when I'm busy than when I'm not. Or maybe that's everyone.

SWE wants to start a mentorship program; mentoring is basically a way to form a relationship with someone who has been through your experiences (or something close) and come out alive; for example, a mentor who is a working engineer to an engineering student. Or a college student to a high school student. Or a college senior to a freshman (because we do have a lot we can, and should, pass down!) A mentor offers encouragement, advice, and is one more person you are accountable to, but who also knows the mistakes you can make and can tell you that they are okay. They're human and not perfect, but they are someone to look up to, someone you aspire to be, who will also help you get there.

I realized recently that I am a sort of (unofficial) mentor to some people, most recently and notably a friend I met in my IPRO group. We are friends, I have no doubts on that, but I can tell he also sees me as someone who has accomplished what he wants to do in college; lining up the double major, doing research. I know how to start the "can I work in your lab" conversation and interact with professors, where the machine shop is, what classes to take when and what not to take together. It's the little things, but they matter a lot. He amazes me every time I see him with enthusiasm and excitement for things that I just want to get done; and reminds me how fun life can actually be, if you let it. I like to think I helped him start the research conversation (though from there on out I'm sure he did fine enough himself), got him involved in AIAA, introduced him to things he could do to develop useful skills (some that I never got a chance to learn), while doing something good for the school. I look forward to finding out where he goes from here and keeping in touch. Perhaps I'll soon lose my "lead" that allows me to be a mentor now, that doesn't matter; it is nice to help someone along the path of their life in the direction they want to go with experience I may have earned the hard way. It also makes me realize how much I do, actually know.

On that note, it also makes me realize how many mentors I have had. I suppose the first ones are my parents, but that's not really the same; although they are amazing people that I still go to for advice, help, and support. My professors have been mentors as well, some more than others, of course, as has every club advisor SWE has ever had. But I have also had classmate mentors: AG freshman year, who claimed to be "training a new AG," and helped me get my foot in the door of student activities by helping me and my friend organize a big dinner event. She was also a fantastic peer tutor (as I found out the next year when we worked alongside). And oh yea, she always looked put-together, a feat I have yet to get down. RW, whom I idolized sophomore year, as he seemed to do everything and then some, while maintaining a fantastic GPA (he was active in several student orgs, worked as a learning assistant, and worked in research). Finally these past two years I have greatly looked up to ST, who commits to his work and projects like there is no tomorrow and also amazes me every day with the depth and breadth of his relationships with people, from family to professors in the department.

I suppose the purpose of this point is to bring to attention that a mentor does not need to be an official post, although it can be. We are also not limited to one mentor in a lifetime or one mentor at a time. Mentors are people we learn from and go to for advice. They are people who inspire us and support our endeavors. Those who volunteer information, as well, when it is wanted, without being asked, because they know what we are going through.

Look at your friends, family, and teachers. Is there someone who stands out particularly as a mentor to you? If you're brave, thank them the next time you see them.

A Day in the Life

I had nothing in particular to post about, so a (modified) excerpt from my conversation with my sister*:

Today I:
-Didn't procrastinate on my CAD work that's due Wed/Fri.
-Went to a Camras Advisory Board meeting and volunteered to present on my experiences with undergrad research
-Sorted out my problems with my last two paychecks
-Talked to my advisor, as promised, but got no solid information regarding research funding for this semester ( :( ) [not his fault, by the way, our administrative assistant wasn't in, so he couldn't get a report of his grants for the semester]...rescheduled to Wednesday
-Finished Stats HW
-Ran a fairly productive (in my opinion, anyway) AIAA meeting
-Confused my Stats professor (in my defense, he started it!)
-Washed most of my dishes
-Registered for SWE national conference (with a tour of SpaceX facilities!)

Tomorrow is another pretty full day! Two student activities workshops, a class and my awesome IPRO, which I still need to read some articles for. I'm out for now.

First Week

This first week is always so crazy, but I love it. All these new people to meet, new things to learn...new notebooks! There's few things more exciting than a brand-spanking-new notebook. All those blank pages.

I've decided that I pretty much love my classes.
Thermal Design has an awesome professor with an absolutely unreal memory (he knows like half the class although he's only ever seen them at info sessions or heard about them in department news and stuff...he remembered me from an open house I attended 3 years ago!)
CAD/CAM is kind of boring, but only because I've used the program we are using already, so until we get to something other than the basics of using it, there's not much for me to learn. I like CAD programs, though, because you get to create actual Things in 3D and you can look at them and everything. Think that thing Tony Stark from Ironman has in his garage, except without the holograms (although I'm fairly sure every mechanical engineer wants one of those with the holograms).
Stats is a class that people hate when they need to take it, but since I know why I want to take it, and I am rather pleased with it so far. We'll see how the workload and stuff goes. We have homework already, but since it's a 3hr class once a week, that's not too surprising.
Manufacturing seems much more interesting to me than materials class was. I have it for the second time in about 2 hours, we'll see how it is when it's not just an introduction.
IPRO. You'll hear a lot about IPRO's because they are fairly central to "the IIT experience." For those who haven't heard of them, IPRO stands for Inter-Professional Project, and it's a real-world project (often requested and/or sponsored by a company or a professor, sometimes by a student), that students of different majors get together to work on. My current IPRO is one on refuelable electric cars. My professor thinks we will change the world and take pictures with President Obama. And, really, if we get it to work, we could! The basic idea is using a different kind of battery that uses up its electrolyte as it runs. It's not rechargeable, but it is refuelable with more electrolyte! And this electrolyte is safe; at the very least much safer than the gasoline we use now. Overall, if this strategy works, it is possible to end dependence on foreign oil, save the environment...the whole shebang. And that is why our project can change the world. I'm super-excited.

SWE (Society of Women Engineers) is doing some great things, too. Some of our events are less attended than last year, but we have more of them. An event every day this week; it's pretty hard on the exec board, but we're pulling through. And last night's event turned into sitting around the table talking about internship and IIT experiences. I feel like that is the sort of thing our organization needs more of; sitting around a table and sharing what it's like to be a woman in steel-toed boots.

Anyway, first week is pretty hectic, but not too bad, all in all. And now I go to copy over my manufacturing notes before class.

On Programming...

I programmed in Visual Basic yesterday. Now, I didn't really know Visual Basic.

But while I was sorting through the MSDN documentation (by the way, terrible, but that's a story for another day), it occurred to me that after using Java, C++, MATLAB, Python, assembly (for the LC3 emulator), and PBASIC (for the Parallax Basic Stamp 2), I had enough programming experience to figure out any programming language in the same way I would remember a language if I hadn't used it in a while.

It's strange to find out you can't honestly say you "don't know" something anymore, because you know bits and pieces of it from different previous experiences...

Happy Friday!

Ah, another week done. Tiring, but satisfying.

I got my research project working yesterday, tested it some more under different conditions today. Need some advice from my advisor before continuing; I know nothing about statistics! Which I am sure to remedy in the next semester, one way or another.

Got some of my textbooks in the mail. MMAE 485 textbook was HUGE. By now I'm not even expecting to learn it all, but I hope I won't need it in class every day. It's like two inches thick, and 9 by 11 at least.

Up for this weekend: CAMPING! About 10 of us are going to a park about 100 miles out of Chicago for the weekend. Some left today; the rest of us are following tomorrow morning at a luxurious 9 AM. Sleeping in! Haha. I can't wait to be back at school where the earliest thing I need to be up for is 10 AM classes.