As Windows installs...

Had a strange episode last night...went to bed at 9PM due to headache, then woke up at 2AM. Brushed teeth, got a drink, went back to bed. Tried to get comfortable. Felt weird pains in various parts of my body. Got nervous. Couldn't fall asleep. Tossed and turned. :\ Finally, read a chapter in a book and calmed down. 4AM finally got back to sleep, but plans of waking up at 7 were foiled. Still nervous about how I felt during the night, I let myself sleep in until 10:30. Actually woke up around 10:15. Got to campus around 12:30. Spent virtually all day setting up my new computer :), while having an 'I overslept today' headache. Bah.

Maybe I needed that, though. Something crazy to break up the monotony of every day. That said it didn't make me feel terribly good.

I've started looking into personal training and metabolic rate analysis. It's probably worth it to remove the guesswork from my eating and workouts and really give me something to work toward. Also, a guiding hand would not be amiss. It's pricey...looks like with my current plan I can look forward to spending about $200 over the semester; $100 on the analysis and $100 on the training--around 5 meetings with a trainer. That's on top of the $50 unlimited class pass that I have already bought. Kind of a pricey endeavor, but if it helps, it's worth it. My health is worth it, after all.

Finished my first HW early, woot! And started the 2nd assignment the day it was assigned! Granted, I got stuck on the 2nd problem. I think tonight I'll skip it and go on to the later ones. Managing 2 classes is much easier than managing 5. or 4. or 3. Now, thesis research...*sigh*

I need to start reading more papers. I'm thinking about taking off early (say, on Mondays and Fridays?) and doing this in a pleasant atmosphere...MEL, coffee shop, library, my bed...etc. Perhaps this will be a motivator.

Overall, I would say things aren't going badly :)

More to life

I'm not judging today on productivity. I had a good day. I woke up decently, had a good breakfast, came to work, sent an important email, had my own lunch but went out for coffee & pita bread with friends (they were having lunch), had friends sit in my office for an hour talking about randomness :), installed new Inventor and the Autodesk simulation software (Algor) on my computer.

Cleaning out freezer and cabinets/reorganizing the kitchen with my roomies will probably be my most productive contribution to the world today. But it was pleasant :)

There's more to life than graduate school.

Resolutions: I'm getting better at waking up. I took an hour today, but was fully awake for about half of that. And I was slacking cuz it's Friday. Hope?

Today, everything is annoying.

I've had stomach cramps for 4 days. Come on body. Not cool.

Last night was pizza & ice cream night for that reason.

Engineering doesn't seem so much like a "man's world" until these moments...

Now, back to lunch, then work.

Obnoxious people

I'm usually pretty easygoing...I like it when people on buses or trains with me have lively conversations with each other, when kids are, well, kids, when instead of awkward silence there's a sort of life in there.

But for the love of God, shouldn't people have manners?!

This girl, who was wearing grey leggings with purple flowers on them and a short jacket, by the way, started off by making ridiculous and ridiculously loud sneezing noises. Well, weird noises happen to the best of us. Except that from that point forward, for the next hour, she and her boyfriend got progressively louder and louder and more obnoxious. They squealed, they screamed, they snorted, they drummed on the tray tables. And then they started cussing loud enough for the whole car to hear. What the HELL?

I was this close to telling them to shut their rude asses the fuck up; not sure why I didn't (even in a non-confrontational way, since confrontation is what they would expect...)

So, that's the experience for the day.

Resolution news: not getting any better :\

New Layout!

...aaand that's about all I can say on that subject. However...

Resolution: failed almost miserably; 1 hour snoozing isn't as bad as 2, right? Try again tomorrow.

On the other hand, I think I got some good stuff done today on getting ready to build my apparatus! Woot! However, I seem to be working somewhat weird hours; it appears I enjoy my work more when I do it after 5 PM. Huh? I'll see if that changes as I get Life under control.

Resolution #2: Nix the snooze button.

Okay, I admit it. I just think there's too many things out of my control right now that I can't get up tomorrow and start a New Life. I don't know what's to blame for my lack of self control. Could be my upbringing, my diet, college, my friends (surely not!), or maybe, just maybe, it's my humanity. Thanks, Pat's-voice-of-reason-in-my-head.

So, I will resolve, this year, to make resolutions in sequence. When I accomplish one to my satisfaction, then and only then will I move on to the next.

Resolution 1: no flash games: consider it completed. :) I have barely thought about it for all 11 days of January (though I have on a few occasions). Basically it's getting boring just working on this one.

So, we move on to Resolution 2: Get up without using the snooze button. Or rather, snooze the alarm but get up before it goes off. 9 minutes. I can do this. Even if I fail the first few times. Basically, 2 hour snoozes have become the norm and cause me lots of self-kicking and guilt associated with that. And it's ineffective. So, no matter what the reason for choosing a wake-up time, I WILL get up when I decide.

Thoughts for a New Year...

"Break" is almost over, and it's been a good one. I managed to forget about school and work, relax, enjoy time with family and friends, get some reading done, and start thinking about myself and my life without disgust and disappointment. I have yet to analyze last semester and myself fully and create resolutions for this year or at least the near future on this basis. However, I have managed to accept a few thoughts thus far:

1) Flash games are the Devil. Quite literally; they tempt you and they suck you in and you trade your life for them and get nothing back. Incidentally, I am done with those!!! There are better ways even to waste time than playing those silly things. Granted, quitting cold turkey is a terrible idea, so I'm giving myself a loophole: if I genuinely want to play a specific game, over the weekend, when I have free time, I can still do that. So Motherload and Arcuz may still be in my life, but a whole lot less and in a way that does not take me away from work or studying.

2) Commit more [resources] to my health. I value my health in principle but I don't stand behind that principle, ever. I plan to get a few sessions with a personal trainer, maybe sign up for a class I'm genuinely interested in--a martial arts class or dancing, probably some yoga. I need to listen to my body's cues for eating and sleeping, too. Even when they're contradictory.

3) Focus. I've been pondering this for a while... I've been trying to multitask for years and the quality of my thinking has steadily declined. I need to relearn how to stay focused on one task, and the only way to learn that is to do it. So I'm going to start turning off IM and background movies when I'm studying, reading, etc.

4) Contact. I need to keep more of it with various branches of my family. I think it goes fairly well with friends; not ideally of course, but decently. I'm not entirely satisfied with Facebook, IM, and the very rare occasional phone call, but there are more pressing issues so I won't get my panties in a knot about it. Maybe later. I'll focus on those who SHOULD hear from me often but don't. If anyone is interested, the plan is to call family in Russia Saturday mornings, Sunday if that doesn't work out. Stupid time zones.

5) Positive hobbies. One of the things that comes to mind first about great people is that they are productive no matter if they're working or resting. I'm not planning to take up an interest in opera or Impressionist art, but I can focus my time on things that will genuinely help me develop as a person or create tangible benefits. I can read--I've taken it up and found I have missed it greatly--instead of watching one TV show after another. I'm not terribly picky about what I read exactly, anything will be fine, as long as I can say I'm a reader again. I can focus on one craft project at a time so that I actually finish them. I can use some of the time I have to read up on things in my field that interest me for fun. I can keep up with the news.

I've heard people like lists of 5 so I'll stop there, but I'm still thinking. I feel the need to take alone time in a pleasant environment (e.g. coffeeshop) to do some serious self-analysis, but that hasn't been possible yet. Once that happens I'll probably post a list of the key resolutions and/or goals for this year.