Read this on Natalia Antonova's blog (Z, you directed me there...): "There’s something weird about a system where everything is monetized."
It's a thought I've had before.
I grew up in a community (i.e. my family and my parents' friends), where we avoided exchanging money whenever possible. Sure if you broke something at someone else's house, you owned up and paid for it to be replaced. If you had an expensive dinner together, you would pay back whoever covered it or treat them to an equivalent meal later on (often this was on trips, so there were plenty of opportunities). Hospitality ("rent") was only paid for during an extensive stay...and even then, an effort was usually made to pay in favors; in doing the grocery shopping, helping clean, cooking a nice dinner, etc. Hospitality for a few days to a week was basically considered matter of fact. Babysitting for each other was basically considered matter of fact (though reciprocated at a later date). Basically, there was a huge and largely untracked 'trade' in favors; if it wasn't a big deal, you helped a person out, and no funds were exchanged.
This went threefold for family. The money was everyone's; it was not partitioned out to individuals as 'their own.' We all pitched in to the chores to the best of our abilities (even if they were outside the 'norm') and all got what we needed (or really wanted): food, clothes, school supplies, etc. Notably, watching my sisters, or my friends', was not a job; it was a household responsibility.
I understand that some families have regular babysitting needs; that for some teenagers it is a real job, and not just a matter of keeping an eye on kids they know well. But what I do think is weird is paying your own kids, to watch younger siblings....and by extension, same goes for family friends. I think it's weird to pay a friend and fellow pet-owner to watch your dog for a few days when they'll be around/in town anyway. These are matter of fact things you do for your circle, if you can.
I guess the last thing I want to add is that these favors are not necessarily tit-for-tat. My personal philosophy is that it's hard to create that direct exchange, in part because we all have different talents and skills. It's more of a giant human compact thing: I watch your kids, and one day someone will watch mine. I'll give you a ride, and someone will make me dinner when I'm sick.
There's more to life than money and profits. Here's to the human element! :)
It's a thought I've had before.
I grew up in a community (i.e. my family and my parents' friends), where we avoided exchanging money whenever possible. Sure if you broke something at someone else's house, you owned up and paid for it to be replaced. If you had an expensive dinner together, you would pay back whoever covered it or treat them to an equivalent meal later on (often this was on trips, so there were plenty of opportunities). Hospitality ("rent") was only paid for during an extensive stay...and even then, an effort was usually made to pay in favors; in doing the grocery shopping, helping clean, cooking a nice dinner, etc. Hospitality for a few days to a week was basically considered matter of fact. Babysitting for each other was basically considered matter of fact (though reciprocated at a later date). Basically, there was a huge and largely untracked 'trade' in favors; if it wasn't a big deal, you helped a person out, and no funds were exchanged.
This went threefold for family. The money was everyone's; it was not partitioned out to individuals as 'their own.' We all pitched in to the chores to the best of our abilities (even if they were outside the 'norm') and all got what we needed (or really wanted): food, clothes, school supplies, etc. Notably, watching my sisters, or my friends', was not a job; it was a household responsibility.
I understand that some families have regular babysitting needs; that for some teenagers it is a real job, and not just a matter of keeping an eye on kids they know well. But what I do think is weird is paying your own kids, to watch younger siblings....and by extension, same goes for family friends. I think it's weird to pay a friend and fellow pet-owner to watch your dog for a few days when they'll be around/in town anyway. These are matter of fact things you do for your circle, if you can.
I guess the last thing I want to add is that these favors are not necessarily tit-for-tat. My personal philosophy is that it's hard to create that direct exchange, in part because we all have different talents and skills. It's more of a giant human compact thing: I watch your kids, and one day someone will watch mine. I'll give you a ride, and someone will make me dinner when I'm sick.
There's more to life than money and profits. Here's to the human element! :)
I agree. For example, I actually debated leaving some money for J when she watched my cats. ^^; I decided that the next time she needs a big favor from me, she need but ask (bunnysitting? XD).
ReplyDeleteI HATE owing friends money. Favors, on the other hand, I could trade forever. It's part of friendship and family to be able to do things for people just because you can or want to, and it's often a nice surprise when they do something in return! (I rarely ask for gas money anymore, and I've found that it just makes things easier overall; if it's a long trip I sometimes get a meal paid for ;) and that's enough for me!)
Thanks :) Glad to know someone reads! And yes, I didn't really state it, but money is so...cold?
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