82.4 miles: Salad Hacks

About a month ago, I had a new food kick. This time, salads. I didn't like salads for a long time; it seemed to me they would be un-filling, making them takes forever, and buying them is more expensive than more satisfying foods (like sandwiches!)

Plus, there's the whole 'girl eating salad' thing. "Can I please just get iceberg lettuce and 3 shreds of carrot on the side, no dressing?" Basically, this: http://thehairpin.com/2011/01/women-laughing-alone-with-salad. I wanted to avoid that. Even though I'd be the first to admit that's a stupid reason.

I think for me, the kick started with fruit salad. I do like my fruit, and I do like it mixed, but the little fruit cups are always sooo pricey. So when I was studying for quals, I made a giant tub of fruit and ate it all week (yes, it was fine in the fridge for 3-4 days; by my standards, anyway).  And I was really glad I did, because it was way better than the snacks I would probably have had otherwise.

Gradually, I ramped it up to real salads. Mostly because I wanted to get more greens in my diet (not iceberg lettuce), and the most attractive way of eating greens is salad.  And along the way I figured out some tricks that help me be happier about this salad thing:

1) Buy good greens. I like mixed greens. I hate washing greens so I get the pre-washed ones.
2) Many ingredients! I think any less than 5 and it tastes boring. There needs to be variety!
3) Add protein! I make extra fish or chicken specifically for this purpose. Otherwise, cheese or eggs work. Also, got a tub of sliced almonds and throw them on everything. :) If I'm feeling fancy, I add prosciutto.
4) Make it the night before.
5) Minimize the prep work. I clean my peppers all at once so I can just chop-chop-chop and be done. Today I was trying to cut peppers, onions, cucumbers all at once and save for the rest of the week. However, it worked out to just two salads, one of which was dinner, so I don't know how long those veggies will last pre-cut yet.
5b) Do NOT pre-cut tomatoes. Just buy the bitty ones (grape or cherry); they don't leak all over the salad.
6) Use peeler to cut carrots. It makes thin, delicious slices.
7) Use dressing. The 'bad for you' kind. It's delicious and saves you from the salad stigma.

I think that's all my wisdom for now. :)

77.8 miles: Thoughts on the future of education.

I'm taking an online class this semester for the first time.  I've had classes at IIT that had an online section, which was very convenient; I could catch up on lectures if I had to miss a class, instead of puzzling through someone's notes.  But to have the entire experience online is rather different.

On a related note, I happened across an article today on how 'online education' is being implemented in schools. It's not completely online, but it's definitely taking advantage of it. It's called the 'flipped' school day. The idea is simple: did you ever get 'stuck' watching a lecture at school as opposed to stuck on a homework problem? Did you ever wish you could 'rewind' the teacher and  hear that concept again before moving on, or pause it to jot down a long formula without missing the next bit? Basically did you ever wish the lecture was being done on your time? On the other hand, isn't it helpful to have someone knowledgeable around when you're actually solving problems or completing an assignment? So, the simple concept is, flip the two! Stop sending problems and assignments home; instead, send the lectures, in video form.

I see another upshot: you're saving the passive learning (lectures) for the less energetic part of the day, and active, experiential learning for the middle of the day. You're working with most people's natural energy peak. You're also saving your teachers' time...a lecture only needs to be recorded once (during prep time) for several sections of the same class. Perhaps even across years! And like the article says, you can even exchange lectures with other schools.

I am wondering a few things, however.  Are the improvements cited by the school really due to moving those lectures, or can they be abolished altogether? I'm thinking of this other article that I read recently. In a nutshell, some physics profs structure classes based on small group problem solving and discussion, rather then lectures; and they see better results. Granted, I think they assigned reading and expected it to be done, too.

I'm going to admit, I never read for my classes; if I do, I'm just getting the same information a second time in lecture, and I'm bored. I'd rather go back to the book and read if I don't understand something from lecture. However, this hinges on the fact that I don't need to read to go to class. If I did, I probably would.

So, back to my online class...it's really a middle ground. Usually, I 'attend class' when it's going on, which lets me ask questions and participate if I want. On the other hand, I always have the option of watching or re-watching later (including late at night when I wouldn't do other work). The software used also has lots of cool features (which of course we aren't using). Everyone 'attending' can call in and talk, or even call in with video. We can point to the 'board' and write on it. We have a chat function. Frankly, taping a classroom is not the best use of it!  I'm not sure what is.

Here's what I am sure of: we're way past lectures. Information is so easy to come by these days: you have Khan Academy, you have Wikipedia, you have Google. You have Instructables. You can learn whatever you want without ever leaving your screen...so what do we do with classtime? I refuse to succumb to the view that organized education is outdated; but in order to have value over a self-education, it must switch from imparting information to a different model. One centered around verifying the student received the information correctly (correcting misunderstandings and confusion), and teaching them to apply that information. Perhaps even to seek out more of it.

Since I plan to become an educator, this is a thought in progress. For today, I just wanted to point out a cool trend I was seeing.

77.8 miles: A Response

Read this on Natalia Antonova's blog (Z, you directed me there...): "There’s something weird about a system where everything is monetized."

It's a thought I've had before.

I grew up in a community (i.e. my family and my parents' friends), where we avoided exchanging money whenever possible. Sure if you broke something at someone else's house, you owned up and paid for it to be replaced. If you had an expensive dinner together, you would pay back whoever covered it or treat them to an equivalent meal later on (often this was on trips, so there were plenty of opportunities).  Hospitality ("rent") was only paid for during an extensive stay...and even then, an effort was usually made to pay in favors; in doing the grocery shopping, helping clean, cooking a nice dinner, etc.  Hospitality for a few days to a week was basically considered matter of fact.  Babysitting for each other was basically considered matter of fact (though reciprocated at a later date).  Basically, there was a huge and largely untracked 'trade' in favors; if it wasn't a big deal, you helped a person out, and no funds were exchanged.

This went threefold for family. The money was everyone's; it was not partitioned out to individuals as 'their own.'  We all pitched in to the chores to the best of our abilities (even if they were outside the 'norm') and all got what we needed (or really wanted): food, clothes, school supplies, etc. Notably, watching my sisters, or my friends', was not a job; it was a household responsibility.

I understand that some families have regular babysitting needs; that for some teenagers it is a real job, and not just a matter of keeping an eye on kids they know well. But what I do think is weird is paying your own kids, to watch younger siblings....and by extension, same goes for family friends. I think it's weird to pay a friend and fellow pet-owner to watch your dog for a few days when they'll be around/in town anyway. These are matter of fact things you do for your circle, if you can.

I guess the last thing I want to add is that these favors are not necessarily tit-for-tat. My personal philosophy is that it's hard to create that direct exchange, in part because we all have different talents and skills. It's more of a giant human compact thing: I watch your kids, and one day someone will watch mine. I'll give you a ride, and someone will make me dinner when I'm sick.

There's more to life than money and profits. Here's to the human element! :)

77.8 miles: Junk and Gourmet

So, I was contemplating a conversation with someone about music today, and realized that I have an interesting ability to appreciate junk as well as gourmet offerings in a number of areas.

An obvious one is food. I love a refined palette of flavors on my plate. Sushi, aioli, prosciutto, arugula...probably not at the same time, but good, tasteful ingredients thoughtfully combined make very tasty food. And yet on the flip side I have the occasional craving for a fast-food cheeseburger and fries, potato chips, gummy bears, pizza.  That isn't to say either (or both) of these categories are my whole diet. Most of what I eat falls in-between: a few sliced tomatoes with onions, salt, and sunflower oil, or mozzarella, basil, and olive oil. PB&J on whole wheat with natural PB (peanuts & salt) and redcurrant jelly. A colorful beef stir-fry with carrots, onions, bell peppers, and snow peas. A roast chicken to eat for a week. Greek yogurt with a little strawberry jam for flavor.  Everyday, affordable (mostly) ingredients combined in quick ways that still make tasteful food.  But when it comes to treats, I can take the high road and go for sushi or the low road and grab a greasy burger, and either will be delicious.

Same goes for movies. I can appreciate a deep, thoughtful, artistic film. And the next day I'll watch a mind-numbing teen chick flick. In music, I can appreciate a talented artist who writes good lyrics and puts them to an appropriate, creative tune. Or I can appreciate a catchy, redundant song that nevertheless has lots of feel-good quality to it.  I'll never call it good music, but it will probably end up on my workout playlist. Music is actually interesting because I'll feel a lot less appreciation for mediocre music...that's neither truly good nor catchy-bad. Then again, my tastes in music are mysterious and varied....

In books, I clearly like thoughtful, intricate, and/or original writing...recently, of course, Name of the Wind captured my imagination. Not a particularly original story in most senses, but beautifully crafted (it has its original moments...I like his concept of dragons).  George RR Martin, of course, cannot be beat for intricacy in Song of Ice and Fire. Most recently, I've been re-reading and continuing to read Earth's Children by Jean M. Auel.  While at times boring with multiple descriptions of the ice age setting, I know of no other author who writes about that time period, particularly with so much archeological accuracy.  This isn't limited to adult books: I find beauty in the classic Peter Pan, in the thoughtful but almost universally accessible Harry Potter.  I love Diana Wynne Jones for her artful characters and the bizzare circumstances she crafted to bring them together.  Yet at the same time, I've made it through Twilight (only the first and before it was popular, I was unimpressed), a number of Sarah Dessen books, The Princess Diaries, and many others. I'm not including Tamora Pierce, as her books are 'comfort food for my brain' and probably affected my ideology more than I'd care to admit. But in retrospect, many of the other books weren't particularly good in any way that usually matters.  But the plot, and the character's naive and simplistic problems...these things are like a catchy tune. They draw you in against your better judgement (or mine, anyway).  Granted, when I do get hooked on one of these books, I finish it in a matter of hours and feel good. Relaxed. Sastisfied that I found out what happened; most of the satisfaction of finishing a book in 1/4 the time! So maybe not such a waste of time after all.


So the point of all this? I think definitions of good or bad are very screwy in categories like the above.  They can simply be satisfying in different ways. And ultimately, it is prudent...no, convenient to live the middle ground and experience everything available.  You are not restricted by "OMG I can never eat that!" or "This is dumb!" but instead are able to find good things about every experience.  Now, I say convenient because as I read once, "You can like what you choose, but you can't choose what you like."* Some kinds of food, or music, or literature may grate on your nerves or make you fall asleep. I hate beans, squashes and eggplant. I fall asleep to most classical music. I can't stand movie sets that look marginally fake (Edward Scissorhands comes to mind) as opposed to very realistic or even obviously fake (e.g. Peter Pan, 2003).  I did not like reading Thomas Hardy, or Shakesperean tragedies, or any Russian classics I've tried.  I'm a huge supporter of "you can't choose what you like."

I guess that's my ultimate point: we don't choose what we like.  We have to make peace with our likes and dislikes, figure out and accept the value they are providing to us.  And of course, in spite of all my jesting to the contrary, no judging others based on these things, either!

Self-Motivation

Today, I found myself wondering whether there were really any self-motivated people out there.  It went kind of like this:

I wish I was self-motivated, but I'm not. I'm motivated by assignments and deadlines from my advisor, opinions of and pressure from my peers and friends, the expectations and hopes of my parents and family. When I drop the ball repeatedly, I feel like I am letting all or many of these people down.  Perhaps that strong sense of needing to live up to the expectations and to be well-thought of is internal, but ultimately without those external people, the motivation would be very low.

I suspect that my advisor, in turn, is motivated by pressures from her colleagues and bosses. She is probably motivated by expectations from her students, as well. If she's teaching a class, we expect her to come in prepared to lecture, to give us assignments and test our knowledge at the end. Slight variations are justifiable, but too far out of line and we will complain that we learned nothing. We also expect a certain degree of guidance and help in our research.  She is in meetings and on committees with other faculty that expect her contributions in other areas.

Similar chains of influence would continue up to the university president (or analogously, a company CEO, for example). These high ranking individuals, in turn, are probably driven largely by the needs and expectations of their subordinates on a day-to-day basis. I have little understanding of what kinds of activities occupy their days, but I surmise lots of meetings and correspondence are involved, and their presence as a figurehead and a decision-maker are required--again, much of the day-to-day motivation is external.

So, I guess I don't see where self-motivation occurs in the work setting. Or am I missing something?

After thinking through all that I turned to something else where motivation is apparent--hobbies.

Many people (myself included) have more of a tendency to start projects than to finish them. Perhaps, the ones that finish (more) projects are the more self-motivated? Perhaps it is the ability to carve out time for the one or two things that are truly interesting to you while tuning out the external influences that is a better definition of motivation? Still working on it, for myself.

New Year, New Resolution

This last year, I really learned to live by myself. I became comfortable with it. I know I said this a few months ago around my birthday and this was true...and it still is.  I've come a long way since last January and the preceding December (the two months before that, not so much progress).  And when I look back at my old resolutions, I think I've broken a lot of dependencies/addictions (flash games, TV shows via Hulu) and changed a major way of thinking (commit more resources to my health).  I could also argue that I was better at staying in touch with family and friends. My focus is...better than it was, though not perfect. More on that later.  Basically, I had a good year...

So good, I've had trouble coming up with good resolutions or a theme for this year. The old standbys...lose X pounds, do more work, etc. just don't cut it anymore. Those kinds of goals just don't work (and make me feel bad for not accomplishing them). 


Then, I looked at myself last night, and, in a flash, realized what my theme for this year needed to be. It's something I'm already doing, a little, but something I'd like to put more focus on. I'm going to call it "living for myself" (as a parallel to "living by myself").  What does this encompass? It means keeping my mind on my own goals, my own preferences and tastes, my own values and locking out unhelpful influences on these areas.

By this I mean, take 'productivity blogs' with a grain of salt (or maybe stop reading them altogether...though reading something I disagree with helps clarify my feelings and opinions, so I might continue reading them occasionally, anyway). Instead, analyze myself and my behaviors, then look for ways to improve them based on what I already know makes me feel good. Like, going to bed by 11 or midnight. Eating vegetables.  And yogurt. Having a social event to look forward to every week. Giving myself a complete day off from obligations every week. Keeping my house clean.  There's a million other little things that help me. And more importantly, there are a million little things that don't...like having a schedule I adhrere to, religiously. Getting up early.


I also want to lay out a career plan this year. This seems like something that could be done in a day or so, but really involves a lot of information gathering about my options after grad school.  I need to determine if research is something I want to strive to excel in, or if I can relax my expectations of myself in that department and work on advancing myself as an educator, which (based on my reading habits) seems to excite me a lot more. Basically, I need to set aside what 'people think' is the right thing to do with a PhD, and decide what I want to do with it.

I want to take charge of my education. I've been a rather passive student this past semester/year, which may partially explain why certain classes came across as boring to me.  But every class has places to branch out, look up other sources, etc.  Even outside of class, there are things I could be learning that would be helpful to my research and personally enriching to myself. This is one of those things that I enjoy a lot more than I expect to, so I really want to raise that expectation for myself so I do more of this kind of 'work'.


Finally, I want to find more fun activities that I enjoy and that give me a sense of accomplishment...sign up for athletic classes (yoga, ice skating), do more crafty things (finish some scarves), do more outdoorsy things (e.g. hiking), or blog more regularly about the small things that make me think, or wonder, or relate.


These are all just examples.  Just like a few years back I promised myself I'd make more healthy choices (and it worked!), my big resolve this year is to focus on developing me.  My personal identity that isn't influenced by the expectations and opinions of others, or (more realistically) is influenced much less strongly.


For the time being, I finally need to study for quals...

75.8 miles: Martyr complex

As I may have mentioned, the past year (roughly) has been a long-running experiment in creating a more balanced life. I've tried to get away from the 'academics above all' mindset that I have had since...middle school at the latest, and made an effort to include other things in my life, most notably physical activity and health in general, even when at times this comes at the expense of academic work. 

I can't say I've been terribly consistent with this mission, but it has been an overall direction I have tried to move in.   To that effect, I've spent some time thinking about how I work; what makes me feel good and what doesn't. What kind of complexes or 'тараканы в голове' I have.  A couple I knew in advance, like, that I do better when I feel I'm 'ahead' or doing well rather than when I feel like I am or I need to catch up.

Another, I've recognized recently is that I have a martyr complex.  One of the reasons I like to work late (after about 5 or 6 PM) is that I feel like I'm not expected to, so it's 'extra credit.' It's demonstrating my undying commitment to education and science!

Except that it really isn't. Because if I was really that committed, I'd work just as earnestly and have just as much motivation between 9 and 5 as I do outside these hours...

So, what to do? Is this complex something I should get rid of, or find a way to use?

I lean toward finding a way to use it. Along with my disposition for Nice Things (e.g. office supplies for HW, yoga pants, etc.), my discovery that for hardcore studying nothing beats EB's Bagels, that I like posting my miles-run total in my blog posts and watch it creep up, and I like getting gold stars for keeping up with my exercise plans :)

On another Life Balance Project topic: words I hate:

Productivity, networking, critical thinking, problem-solving, analysis (unless specifically defined in context), goal-setting, role-model, passion.

73.8 miles: "I Have Not Failed. I Have Just Found 10,000 Things That Do Not Work."

...it's a brilliant quote from Thomas Edison via Lifehacker.com today (or yesterday?).

...it's something I forget quite often. And as an engineer, I should know that success derives directly from failure.  You make a successful component by improving on one that failed. And then improving again. Etc.

...but usually when I find I did something that doesn't work the way I wish it did, my response is more like 'Well, shit. That was stupid.'

Maybe someday I'll make enough stupid mistakes to be brilliant?

Note: Thanks, M, for the correction. :-/

71.8 miles: Win!

Dear boringestpartofresearchproject,

I have pretty damn much completed you. And made you work. Today, I am full of win. :D

71.8 miles: Good week

Today, I am probably running my experiment for the first time, and...

IT  IS  TERRIFYING!

On another note, I feel like I worked really hard this week...on school, on research, on going for a jog yesterday and making it to Yoga on Tuesday.  My body feels totally beat...almost like my muscles don't even have the energy to complain anymore...however, today started on a kind of sucky note.  Left the house half an hour later than I wanted, and with no breakfast, meaning I'm now chilling at Panera when I should be headed to my lab to prep for the experiment...and I left my phone at home, which means I have to leave school EVEN EARLIER than I expected to get it for my trip.

However, really looking forward to a weekend in Chicago and probably lots of backrubs :) And I feel like I've earned it.