Departures & Arrivals

My dad didn't understand why I heaved deep sighs in the car today on the way to the airport. It took me a while to, also. I'm not just leaving home for a summer job....I don't believe I will ever be home for more than a week in a row again, and it probably won't be as leisurely as these three weeks were. For some intents and purposes, I left behind "home" and I left behind some more vestiges of childhood. Some of the last.

I was really suprised when I started tearing up/choking up on the first few pages of Catching Fire. I'm never, ever that affected by books (and rarely by movies). Don't take me wrong...the book is heart-wrenching! I just didn't expect that to make me tear up, and it pretty much did. I blame my already precarious emotional state for my overreaction, but don't let that affect my recommendation--it's a good book!

Another part of my being emotional is that, however much I mask it, every time I am really excited about something not because it's something I love that I've done before, but because it's new, adventurous, and unprecedented, the happy part of the excitement is tinged with a healthy dose of fear...it probably has to be, to be truly, honestly exciting. What I'm doing now--summer job with a lot of responsibility in California; then graduate school, (mostly*) financial independence, a housing arrangement outside of school...my life seems like it's going to have some rapid hairpin-turn changes, and that looks intimidating. Possibly kind of like hills, which look steeper when you look forward at them. ;) [*mostly = excepting undergrad debt, which is still not in my name]

So, on to good things! I got to walk on the tarmac today at San Diego International! It was super-unusual, but really cool. I'll even accept having the aisle seat twice today for that privelege. I had a flight with a 30-minute connection, and the way my first plane arrived (4 minutes late, though it was like 20 minutes late leaving Chicago, so they did pretty well!), it was in another branch of the terminal than the outgoing flight. Going the "proper" way would require going through security again (!!!), so they gathered us up in a group and took us the "other" way, across the (short stretch of) field. There was baggage processing and toward the end a plane came taxi-ing to a gate nearby. I found myself laughing, almost hysterically. Fortunately it was loud, so no one heard, but I was still pretty giddy when I got on the plane.

Then I got my luggage, met my ride, and stepped out into...California. Not quite the way I remembered it, because I haven't been here in summer in 6 years. The flowers that were blooming seemed weird and out of place, and the smells weren't quite right, but still very much Californian (or maybe I say that because they starkly contrasted with the smells of Illinois). I think it was redwood...it was between pine and juniper...sweet, tree-y, and reminded me of home in a long-forgotten kind of way. I also had the strange feeling of being out of place for a while, but that went away as soon as I got here (AT's house). It's good to have a home away from home...especially when you're not quite sure where home is anymore... ;)

Tomorrow: Lunch with an old friend (LD) that I've miserably failed to keep up with, then shopping with AT's sister, possibly a quick drugstore run, and then...camp!

Friday: Training!

This is it...

It's strange to think that pretty much everything I need is in those three bags (and laptop, hehe). About a third of it is gear-my giant backpack, harness, climbing shoes, hiking boots, water shoes, sleeping bag, pillow, (giant) towels. Somewhere around another third--clothes. I could probably have fit into just the one backpack if (1) I didn't have to plan for two weeks between laundry and (2) I had a few less contingencies to plan for. i.e. I'd like to go to the aquarium or SanFran in very different clothes and shoes than I would wear hiking, thank you very much. So there you have it. What is the other third of Galina's luggage, you ask?

• BOOKS! (Or more generally, reading material, as it also includes the last two issues of LiiT, the UIUC-AE Newsletter, and some other nonsense.) The books were: Lost and Mirror, Mirror by Gregory Maguire (author of Wicked for the uninitiated ;) ); The Two Towers and The Return of the King by Tolkien, of course; Devil in the White City; A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (I'm pretty sure I can re-read that indefinitely, haha); The Next Fifty Years (A collection of essays on...you guessed it...by scientists, psychologists, etc. Thanks, AP!), and the third volume of Diana Wynne Jones' Chrestomanci series (books 5 and 6 in one book). With me for the plane, I have Dune, by Frank Herbert, and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins, both bought specifically for this trip. I might give you updates on how I do with those.
• A small stash of tea and a thermos mug. Galina without tea? This does not compute ;) or it wouldn't if it were true.
• Three notebooks of varying sizes and styles and some pens/pencils. Yayyy creativity!
• Minimal toiletries (no one wants details. I did bring 2 lotions and sunblock...skin is important!)
• Paperwork :( (an evil necessity)
• Electronics (computer, phone, mp3 player, and the corresponding chargers, etc).

I'm pretty sure that's it....all that a girl (an adventurous one, I hope I can say without boasting) needs for two months in a state that's at once home and far, far from it...

Day Before Leaving

It smells like gasoline.

11 in the morning, but it still feels the same as when I got up at 7:45 to take VG and MC to the train station.* Including the sound of lawnmowers.

I need to pack. Unfortunately, for the moment my mental list doesn't fit into any reasonable amount of luggage. I need to remind myself how little I ACTUALLY need. The problem is, skimping usually leads to needing something else, later. Though, there's no way to get around at least 3 pairs of shoes: sneakers, hiking boots, and water-shoes. That's half my bag right there.

I hate "the day before" with a passion. The day of is exciting and more than 2 days before you can successfully ignore whatever is going to happen. But not the day before. That's when you have to think about it. And you can't procrastinate on paperwork anymore >.>



*They came over to rock climb yesterday and stayed for dinner. Since we weren't done until 11 or so, and by that point the train would have gotten them home really late, they stayed the night, instead.

New Blog

In a way, it's a continuation of the old; in other ways, it's new.

This summer, I'm going on 4 12-day adventure trips with what I am sure will be a fantastic group of teens and counselors. I'll post what happens.

After that, it's graduate school at University of Illinois. Can I keep up as ambitious a posting schedule as JM? I'll try to keep going every 2 weeks, just like over summer; but we'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying lounging at home...2 diplomas sitting under a pile of camp paperwork that needs to be finished and most of my stuff in boxes. A typical post-graduation week, no?

Today is one of those days that I think I might need glasses...

The fog settles over campus, putting everything in a haze, and the click-clack of the El train is slightly muted. A perfect day to curl up with a (freshly repaired!) laptop, and work on senior projects.

:)

Graduate School

I have accepted an offer, and rejected another!

I am going to University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign on a 12-month fellowship, by the end of which I will hopefully have a professor I can work for :)

Design projects are kicking into high gear (as if they weren't already).

Had an interview for a summer camp counselor position. Stressed my interest in being an "adventure camp trip leader" over a traditional counselor. Yaaaay backpacking through California for the whole summer. I hope I get it. Or at least the traditional counselor thing. I need to get away from the computer/calculations/homework/email/stress/engineering thing and try some outdoor life out :)

Basically, life is good and getting better.

Decisions, decisions

So, the admission decisions have rolled out...at least, IIT's decisions have. As has every other school with a conscience. Georgia Tech is still holding out on me *shakes fist*. I don't mean to burn GATech, actually; they have some good programs in what I want to do next year--but their administration seems to leave something to be desired, and that's not a happy situation. Decision deadlines for graduate school offers with financial aid are April 15...so there's about 3 weeks left, if that. Come on, Georgia, we all want to know.

Anyway, besides that gripe, I got into University of Illinois-Urbana-Champaign and University of Washington; rejected from Princeton and CalTech. Not too surprising, in a time of such finances and me not having any grants, fellowships, or other funding to bring to the table.

Visiting a school before choosing is kind of important; one of the reasons I wish UW and GATech had their decisions out earlier; I don't want to visit a school that will reject me--also the whole approach to the visit is different when you're admitted vs. when you are just looking around. I visited UofI and had a great experience; talked to 4 professors, 3 of which were really excited to talk to me (almost as much as I was to talk to them!) It's a great campus, closer to home than the others, good department, good professors, and a good financial deal :) That's always important.

So, thus far it's looking like U of I.

In other news, projects are taking over my life about every other week. Then I turn them in (i.e. have a deadline) and relax for the rest of the week (this is the stage I am in now). Aaaand then lather, rinse, repeat.

5 weeks of class left...I never imagined myself here.

Unexpectedly good day :)

Today, I had a moment of fierce pride. My computer was used for two PowerPoint presentations in my design class--we were going over mission specifications, if anyone is interested, more on that later--and two people, after seeing my background, asked me what it was. It was the image you see, which, to the best of my knowledge, is property of the Ad Astra Rocket company, http://www.adastrarocket.com . I encourage you to go look at the rest of the site because the company is A-MAZING. But in a nutshell, it's a concept spacecraft using the company's VASIMR engine that can (theoretically) get a manned mission to Mars in about 39 days (using chemical rockets: 6 months). Anyhow, since this is what I want to work on getting done in my lifetime, and I really like having it as my desktop, I was very pleased to have someone take an interest :) Actually, two someones, both of them classmates I intensely respect.

On design presentations: My group decided to take Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang, the Jetsons, and the DeLorean of Back to the Future as our inspiration and work on a flying car design. We're never actually going to MAKE this vehicle, but we're looking at having something that can drive 100 miles and fly 500 on a full tank of gas. You can't quite take off from your garage, but you can drive to a local airfield, take off, fly to the next one over, and then drive to grandma's house. Or your business meeting. You do need a pilot's license to operate it, though.

A little update on me (I put this at the end for a reason, hehe): The end of last semester was a somewhat stressful and hectic time--I ended up with 3 projects toward the end of the semester, plus two classes (and a few CAD homework assignments) thrown into the mix. A couple other things happened, the result of which was I made a difficult decision and chose to leave research for two jobs: TA for the CS department and tutor at the Academic Resource Center (the latter I had held before, and remembered it being fun and, dare I say, relaxing :))

Now, after a mostly relaxing break and a lot of graduate school applications (sorry, you missed them all: Princeton, University of Washington, University of Illinois-Urbana Champaign, CalTech, Georgia Tech), after all that, I started my 3 design classes+IPRO semester. It's been okay so far, the hardest day (night) being last night when I had to come up with 20 product ideas! And I didn't quite procrastinate, because we only really heard about the assignment on Monday (he had mentioned it before, but not in detail).

Still, I came up with some cool ideas, went to class, and am basically having a blast with all these cool projects. I'm also looking forward to Interview Weekend in a little over a week, having a high school student stay in my room one last time before I graduate!

Cheers. Early bedtime for me!

Mentors

So, we went to SWE conference, and I have not gotten around to posting about that yet. I will do so...sometime. I really want to do justice to it, and with mid-semesterwork piling up (especially after being gone half a week :X), I don't think I can do it justice right now.

I have, however, a nasty habit of doing more thinking when I'm busy than when I'm not. Or maybe that's everyone.

SWE wants to start a mentorship program; mentoring is basically a way to form a relationship with someone who has been through your experiences (or something close) and come out alive; for example, a mentor who is a working engineer to an engineering student. Or a college student to a high school student. Or a college senior to a freshman (because we do have a lot we can, and should, pass down!) A mentor offers encouragement, advice, and is one more person you are accountable to, but who also knows the mistakes you can make and can tell you that they are okay. They're human and not perfect, but they are someone to look up to, someone you aspire to be, who will also help you get there.

I realized recently that I am a sort of (unofficial) mentor to some people, most recently and notably a friend I met in my IPRO group. We are friends, I have no doubts on that, but I can tell he also sees me as someone who has accomplished what he wants to do in college; lining up the double major, doing research. I know how to start the "can I work in your lab" conversation and interact with professors, where the machine shop is, what classes to take when and what not to take together. It's the little things, but they matter a lot. He amazes me every time I see him with enthusiasm and excitement for things that I just want to get done; and reminds me how fun life can actually be, if you let it. I like to think I helped him start the research conversation (though from there on out I'm sure he did fine enough himself), got him involved in AIAA, introduced him to things he could do to develop useful skills (some that I never got a chance to learn), while doing something good for the school. I look forward to finding out where he goes from here and keeping in touch. Perhaps I'll soon lose my "lead" that allows me to be a mentor now, that doesn't matter; it is nice to help someone along the path of their life in the direction they want to go with experience I may have earned the hard way. It also makes me realize how much I do, actually know.

On that note, it also makes me realize how many mentors I have had. I suppose the first ones are my parents, but that's not really the same; although they are amazing people that I still go to for advice, help, and support. My professors have been mentors as well, some more than others, of course, as has every club advisor SWE has ever had. But I have also had classmate mentors: AG freshman year, who claimed to be "training a new AG," and helped me get my foot in the door of student activities by helping me and my friend organize a big dinner event. She was also a fantastic peer tutor (as I found out the next year when we worked alongside). And oh yea, she always looked put-together, a feat I have yet to get down. RW, whom I idolized sophomore year, as he seemed to do everything and then some, while maintaining a fantastic GPA (he was active in several student orgs, worked as a learning assistant, and worked in research). Finally these past two years I have greatly looked up to ST, who commits to his work and projects like there is no tomorrow and also amazes me every day with the depth and breadth of his relationships with people, from family to professors in the department.

I suppose the purpose of this point is to bring to attention that a mentor does not need to be an official post, although it can be. We are also not limited to one mentor in a lifetime or one mentor at a time. Mentors are people we learn from and go to for advice. They are people who inspire us and support our endeavors. Those who volunteer information, as well, when it is wanted, without being asked, because they know what we are going through.

Look at your friends, family, and teachers. Is there someone who stands out particularly as a mentor to you? If you're brave, thank them the next time you see them.

Fun Night!

So I haven't been out for a while, trying to stay on top of, well, everything, really. Which made tonight nice on a number of levels...

About a month ago, one of my friends re-started a "getting together" thread. This friend was of Russian origin, and the gathering was a cultural one that happens pretty regularly (every few months, anyway). Initially, it was about five or six of us, a year or two ago, at someone's apartment on the North side. We have reconvened two or three times since (and tried a couple more, but those just didn't work out). We gather to have a potluck dinner; everyone brings a food item, and we try our best to cook, or at the very least go to a Polish/generally European or middle-eastern supermarket to get something extra-special (Russian social eating habits include elements of all of these).

This time was cool because everyone had talked to their friends about this tradition, and they all wanted to come; so we invited them, and tonight ended up being a night of meeting new people in an environment that I find a comforting change from my usual company at IIT.

To explain: I am not a cultural clique-ist. I will normally be neutral toward or even tend away from people of my cultural background. I will not analyze why because it's basically an observational fact. Still, after moving away from home (where I was surrounded in Russian culture most of the time), and maybe even after moving away from our home in California, in an area that had a huge Russian community, I found that I seriously missed that kind of interaction. I missed quoting classic (Russian) movies to people outside my family without lengthy explanations, I missed the slightly more formal approach to having friends over, and I even missed the language. These Russian gatherings provide me with a rare opportunity to have these things and ones that I can't quantify as easily....

It can sometimes be hard to keep up with your culture in college; even when you share bits of it with your college friends, it's difficult--it's a foreground activity instead of a background presence. I'm really glad I found people to share a part of myself with which I don't necessarily have with my usual (awesome!) group of friends.

And it turned out to be a great way of meeting new people in a relaxed environment; something I've been having trouble finding lately!